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She came in to tell me Good Night. 
She has to be up early to catch the school bus. 
As we were talking about the plan for tomorrow, she seemed a little sad.
I asked her if she was alright and she just nodded.
So I probed a little more and she started talking.
We talked about a lot of different subjects but there was a part of the conversation that tore a hole in my heart.

She asked me “Mom do you know why I say “I Love You” every time I come into or leave the room?”
Me…. “No, but I love to hear it.”
Her…. “Because I am afraid that something will happen and I will not have told you know that I love you.”

I realized that I had been selfish in my grieving. That at almost a year later my daughter’s heart was still broken over the loss of Grandpa. I didn’t realize that that loss had created this fear in her. I want to help her with the fear but…

I pray for many entrances and exits because I love to hear her say…
I Love You, Mommy!

Category: Family, Life  5 Comments

Meet Danielle…

She is one of my bestest friends in the whole wide world.
Sometimes she is my oldest child.
She is always Hope’s Big Sister. You know the person that your daughter goes and talks to about stuff she doesn’t want to talk to her stinky mom about….that is Danielle.
Danielle is also the person that I called last September and told her she needed to “Talk to your Sister”, because I couldn’t utter a word to Hope I was so mad.

Danielle is the person that without telling Craig or me, showed up on our doorstep the morning of Mel’s funeral. She actually got up left her family, took time off of work and drove 4 hours to come and hug me as I was finally able to cry. Danielle was the glue that held Hope together while Craig and I had to take care of the “business” aspect of things.

Danielle is quite a bit younger than me….Like 15 years. She is more mature then some of the OLD people I know.  She has been through alot in her life. She is beautiful, caring, confident and one of the best moms I have ever seen.

Saturday I get the pleasure of standing at the Altar in her Church while her and her beloved say their vows.
I can’t wait to get on the road!
I am Heading to San Jose!!

Do you know the way to San Jose….What a great song that is!!!

Category: Family, Life  3 Comments

I love the end of the year.
Not just Christmas or Presents.
Not just Party Hats and Champagne toasting in the New Year.
I love the end of the year because……

I do office bookwork.
The end of the calendar year means that…..
I get to do Taxes.
I get to print W-2’s.
I get to empty the Filing Cabinet.
I get to start back at ZERO…
A Clean Slate!!

I only get to this once a year at my places of employment.
BUT
Thankfully God gives me a Clean Slate everyday!

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning. – Lamentations 3:22-23

What do you like best about the start of a New Year?

Category: Life, Misc  One Comment

As 2009 comes to a close I have decided to look back on it. So much has happened this last year. So many little events have occurred that made up the days of 2009. There have been some big events as well. Some of the memories are funny, happy, exciting and sad, melancholy, thoughtful times. I have come to realize some things about myself, both good and bad. I have also removed some people off of the pedestals I built and set them on.

I have decided to make a list of 9 things from 2009…..

1. Both of my Children were Baptized. I can die a Happy Mom now….You moms know what I am saying.

2. I got to see the wonder on my Children’s faces when we took a vacation to Hawaii. I am just not sure how you can’t believe in God when you see the beauty.

3. We lost Mel. My father in law was called home to Jesus. He is frolicking with my mother in law now. Pain-free, healthy, whole.

4. I realized a big family doesn’t mean a close family. It has been sad to see the way Craig’s siblings handled the death of their father.

5. Hope graduated Junior High and started High School. She is doing great.

6. Ryan became Home Schooled. What a change in his self esteem and respect to us.

7. I came within 2 pounds of my goal weight. I have successfully put most of it back on again. I wish I could say I was sad but I really learned alot about myself. This kind of goes with the comment about pedestals.

8. I attended a Beth Moore Conference and Women of Faith! God is so Good!!

9. I was Baptized. I had been as a baby but never as an adult. Pastor Bill said that it was great that our parents made that decision for us. Maybe it was time for us to stand up for ourselves.

I got to meet some new friends. Hear some new sermons. Travel to Oklahoma again. I have done some Bible studies. I have laughed and cried. I had some dreams fulfilled. I have had some questions answered. Most of all I have been loved.

I can’t wait to see what 2010 has for me.

Category: Faith, Family, Life  2 Comments

The road to perfection is always under construction…..
-Unknown Author

Is Perfection Obtainable??
If it is, Is it something that we want to Reach?

I think that I would prefer to walk the Road of Continued Growth.
The Road that brings me closer to God.
The Road of Discovery.
The Road of Trials and Hardships that Strengthen Me in Christ.
The Road that Leads to Freedom, Love and Eternal Life.

Which road do you want to continue paying for the construction of??

Category: Faith, Life  2 Comments
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