Here is what Ryan has written and will read. (I changed or corrected nothing)
What I Regret
It was a regular Saturday night evening. The only think that was different was that my Grandfather was finally home from the hospital. He had cancer. He was so happy to be home. We had a great Friday night together. When Saturday rolled around he went straight to his bedroom to sleep.
Knowing he had cancer my Mom, Dad and I would check on him to see if he was ok. Every two hours or so he would roll over or move around. It was 8:59 pm when I went to ask my Dad a question. When I walked into the room my Dad was standing there checking Grandpa’s pulse. I asked him like 5 times, “Is he dead?” As I looked at him it was clear that he was gone. I walked into my Mom’s room and said “Grandpa is gone.” She rushed into his room to comfort my Dad. I sat in her computer desk chair and started crying.
We spent so much time together, more when I was little. As I got older I started being meant to him. I don’t even know why. As I was crying all I could say was “I’m sorry Grandpa.” You guys must be thinking why am I sorry…..I never told him that I love him. If I could just have him back for 5 seconds I would tell I love him. This has eaten me up for days. I was calling myself a monster and punching things.
The next morning my family and I went to church. When the Pastor wanted us to pray all I could say was “I love you Grandpa”. I would start crying just thinking about him. As I write this 4 days later I am still torn about my Grandfather’s Death.
So please say I LOVE YOU to everybody that you are close to. Tell them you love them every day, more than once, cause you never know when that person will be taken from you. Don’t keep it in or someday you may be an emotional wreak when that person is gone.
I am starting to feel better. I know he is in a happier place, Heaven….Fully Healed, with two legs, dancing with my Grandma.
Forever I will regret never telling him I Loved Him.
Hope’s Story Follows in the Next Post.
I Love You
Thanks for Loving Me
I wish I could give you a huge hug. But I am 200 miles away so you’ll have to imagine me wrapping my arms around you and saying: YES, YES as you go forward in life, share your love freely! Say those 3 words as often as you feel compelled to without reservation or embarrassment. Love is the “light” we give to one another, it is what we are called to do and vital to our very “being”. We lose NOTHING by sharing it. But sweetheart, there are MANY ways to do that. Your grandpa KNOWS that you loved him. You spent so much time together how could he not? Please don’t discount the intuition of the heart. I have no doubt that the time you shared together spoke volumes.
Hugs and prayers.
May He hold you all gently.
This was beautiful.
xoxo,
R
What a beautiful and sentimental post. Learn from your regret, don’t beat yourself up with it. Your grandpa knows you love him – believe that. Thank you for sharing from your heart.
Kleenex please. This will be a turning point for Ryan and Ryan keep your focus on what you say you want to do and just do it. We are all praying for you all.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and reminding us to always say “I love you.” It takes a real man or woman to show emotion and to tell the tender things. I’m sure your grandpa knows you loved him, but it would honor him for you to always tell people in your life that you love them from here on. That can be part of his legacy to you.
God bless you and I expect to read great things about you on your mom’s blog as you mature.
(((((Theresa)))))) big hugs to you and your family, know you are in my thoughts at this sad time….
x