……They can see that she loves the child she is carrying and there is an instant connection.

At the meeting they talked. They discussed faith in God, how they discipline their daughter, and what kind of extended family they have. Will her child grow up in a big family or small one? Will her child be taught rules, morals and consequences? The more she talked to the couple the more at peace she became with her decision. She asked them what they would expect from her as the birth mother, would contact be maintained throughout the child’s life. How involved did they want to be in the pregnancy?

At the end of the meeting the adoptive parents hugged her and told her that they would wait to hear her decision. They knew it would be a hard one and if she had anymore questions to contact them. Little did they know that she had already made up her mind. She wanted them to be her child’s parents. She knew that they would give her child everything that she couldn’t. She knew that she would be allowed to still love her child from a distance and not have to worry about the child’s upbringing.

So here she is at 20 relying more on her doctor than her family. She tells him her decision to allow the couple to adopt her baby. They together called the couple and told them her decision. They were excited. It was going to be a long journey. She was only 6 weeks pregnant.

The couple took full interest in her. They offered to cover her living expenses but she chose to go on welfare to assist the couple. She wanted them to spend the money on her child not on her. She became friends with the Mother-To-Be (MTB). Her doctor recommended an OB. He didn’t accept Medi-Cal. The MTB went to him and explained the reason why the girl was one Medi-Cal, she offered to pay the difference between what they paid and what he billed. The OB decided to accept just what Medi-Cal paid. The MTB was present for her sonogram. The MTB and the girl were together when they found out that the child was a boy. The couple asked the girl if she had any name preferences. She didn’t want to interfere with the important name decision.

August, 10th the girl had her labor induced. Two hours and 35 minutes later with the MTB present in the room, the girl gave birth to a beautiful boy. The nuns at the hospital tried to talk the girl into keeping her son. But the girl told them that her son belonged with his parents, the couple that were going to raise him. The girl got to hold her baby a few times in the hospital. When they were released the girl was wheeled out of the hospital holding her son. She handed her son to his mother. It was both rewarding to her and heartbreaking to see him leave with them. She said a special prayer that he would always be happy and know that he was a loved child of god.

Through the years she has received pictures and family letters. He knows that he is adopted and has been raised to believe that he was given as a gift out of love not tossed away because he wasn’t wanted. This couple that stepped up to raise her son had done an outstanding job.

These posts have been the story of how I spent the 20th year of my life. How I had a beautiful baby boy. How with an extraordinary man’s help and faith I found a beautiful family for my son. My son will be 19 this year. I feel blessed to have been used as a vessel.

Is it better to have the abortion and spare this child the poverty that it will live with? The girl’s mother has already said that she wouldn’t help with the child. The girl’s father isn’t around at the moment either.

She makes and appointment with her doctor. She has known him forever and trusts him. He is one of the few mature adult males that she trusts. He starts talking to her about adoption.

She had never thought about adoption. How would anybody ever forgive her for giving away her baby? Would any man want her to be his wife? Would she ever have the life that she wanted? The life of being married to a man that loved only her. The life of giving him children of their own. The situation that she is in has totally renamed the term “Comes with Baggage.

Her doctor pulled out a file that had “Resumes” in it. There were pictures and life stories of people that wanted children and couldn’t have them. She didn’t have any idea that people were so desperate for children that they contacted doctors they didn’t know on the offside chance that they might know a girl that wanted to give up her baby.

She reviewed the file and talked to her doctor more about adoption. He offered to go through the process from beginning to end with her. He offered to help her interview people that wanted to be parents to her child. He had known her most of her life and was so proud of her for not having an abortion. He knew her home life. He knew her mother. He knew how hard this whole thing was for her.

Together they went over the resumes. They picked a few and started to get further into the reviewing process. How do you pick your baby’s parents? How do you rectify the whole thing in your mind? You aren’t in a position to raise a baby but you also don’t want an abortion.

After review of over 75 couples, she picks one. She likes this couple because they have already adopted a child 5 years earlier. Her child would have a sister. She also likes them because neither of them can have children. There will never be any blame about how come they can’t have children of their own. That is a great comfort for her.

She and her doctor contact the couple and arrange for a meeting in his office. She is nervous. What will they think of her? Here she is giving away the one thing they want more than anything and can’t have for themselves. They can see that she loves the child she is carrying and there is an instant connection.

The third and last part to come tomorrow……

There was a 20 year old girl that was not living as she should. She was having fun. She was bartending, doing drugs and sleeping with her boyfriend. She thought that life didn’t get any better than that.

She was raised a Christian. She believed in Jesus. She believed in the Sunday school version of Jesus. She had no understanding of the real sacrifice He made for us.

One day she started not feeling well. She was so tired, she started vomiting at weird times of the day. She had to work to survive so she did more drugs to keep her going. She went in to see her Doctor. He had been her doctor her entire life. So she told him how bad she had been feeling. He ran tests.

The next day she learned her fate. She was pregnant. How did this happen to her. She was so careful. She used the pill, she made him use a condom. How? How? How? As she sat in the doctor’s office hearing the results she started praying. Isn’t that what her grandmother had taught her? Tough times get easier with prayer.

She talks to her boyfriend. He is shocked, they have been so careful. He doesn’t believe in abortion. She is relieved because she doesn’t want one. She is scared the he will want to get married. She loves him but doesn’t want to marry him. This is the first time in her life of “maturity”, that she realizes that she doesn’t want to marry the man she has been having sex with. They talk and talk. They take time alone and then come back together and talk. He does the one thing she fears that most. He asks her to marry him. He doesn’t love her like that, she doesn’t love him like that either. They are lovers and friends not life long companions. If they marry they will end up hating each other.

She witnesses an incident in a McDonalds where a mother is buying her child a Happy Meal and not getting herself anything. When the child asks his mom why she didn’t get anything she tells her son that she only has enough money to get him his meal. Since it is his birthday she wants him to enjoy his Happy Meal. She weeps as she witnesses this mother’s love for her child. She wants so much more for the child she is carrying.

Is it better to have the abortion and spare this child the poverty that it will live with? The girl’s mother has already said that she wouldn’t help with the child. The girl’s father isn’t around at the moment either. Is she going to end up following in her mother’s footsteps?

To Be Continued……